Brands We've Placed In
Retail Should Be
A Door,
Not A Trap.
Most founders who attempt Tier-1 retail distribution lose — not because their product isn't ready, but because they enter without intelligence, without protection, and without the right connections. The system is designed to extract value from you.
Predatory slotting fees
Retailers demand $50K–$500K upfront before your product touches a shelf.
Net-term exploitation
90-to-120-day payment delays that strangle your cash flow from day one.
No insider access
Category managers don't answer cold pitches. You need someone they already trust.
Compliance landmines
EDI, 4PL logistics, UPC/GTIN, and retailer-specific requirements that kill unprepared brands.
Broker conflicts of interest
Traditional brokers represent retailers first. Your margin is their negotiating chip.
The Three-Layer
Operating System
For Retail Success.
Dirty Brands doesn't hand you a contact list. We run a full-stack operation so you enter retail from a position of strength — and stay there.
The Readiness Score
Every brand that enters Dirty Brands is scored against the Gold Standard: margins, COGS scalability, shelf-stability, and branding. Only 90+ scores unlock Titan matching. We protect you before you enter the room.
Readiness Score + Retailer Defense Dossier with capped slotting benchmarks, protected net-terms, and audit rights.
The Titan Network
Our curated network of 150+ senior retail executives holds real relationships with category managers at Target, Walmart, Costco, and Whole Foods. They don't take cold meetings. They take Dirty Brands introductions.
Portfolio Executive Briefing tracks sell-through, inventory levels, and retail health across every brand a Titan represents.
The Broker Proxy
Dirty Brands acts as the professional intermediary between your startup energy and the retailer's corporate language. EDI compliance, 4PL logistics, and category management pitches handled. Retailers deal with one authoritative system.
Category Manager Pitch Decks aligned to each retailer's specific quarterly growth objectives — translated from your brand story.
Built for Founders Who
Won't Settle for Crumbs.
Retailer Defense Dossier
Before any negotiation begins, Dirty Brands hands you a non-negotiable term sheet: capped slotting fees, protected net-terms, and the audit rights most founders never know to demand. You enter every room knowing exactly what to accept — and what to walk away from.
73% of CPG founders sign predatory retail contracts on their first deal
Without proper protection
Direct Titan Introductions
Your brand is introduced personally by a Dirty Brands Titan — a senior retail industry executive whose word carries weight with category managers. No cold decks. No waiting six months for a response. This is a warm handoff from someone the retailer already trusts.
18× faster
Avg. time to first retailer meeting vs. cold outreach
Real-Time Portfolio Monitoring
After placement, your brand is never out of sight. The Dirty Brands system tracks sell-through rates, inventory levels, and retail health — surfacing alerts before small issues become range deletions. Your Titan receives a weekly briefing on every brand they sponsor.
92% retention
Brand retention rate after Year 1 of placement
The Velvet Rope
Is Real.
For CPG Founders
Generating $250K–$5M in DTC or regional sales
Strong unit economics with scalable production capacity
Product ready for national shelf: shelf-stable, UPC-compliant, brandable
Committed to retail as a serious growth channel, not an experiment
Prepared to operate with a professional, protective term sheet
For Industry Titans
Senior executives with active retailer relationships at Tier-1 accounts
Seeking curated brand investment and co-distribution opportunities
Looking for off-market CPG deals scored for quality before they reach you
Ready to leverage your network while Dirty Brands handles diligence
Interested in managing a portfolio of sponsored brands from one dashboard